Clever! The risk in doing any humorous microfiction piece is that it can read like a self-contained gag, rather than a story, in its own right.
In this case, the writer made it work. I got a sense that Jules is somebody who takes pride in what he does, no matter how unpleasant. And I actually felt that lump-in-my-throat “oh crap” sensation, when I got to the ‘punchline’. It seemed like Jules just wanted to do a fine job. And the reader KNOWS it’s not gonna end well for him.
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Ha, I enjoyed this – made me smile.
Clever! The risk in doing any humorous microfiction piece is that it can read like a self-contained gag, rather than a story, in its own right.
In this case, the writer made it work. I got a sense that Jules is somebody who takes pride in what he does, no matter how unpleasant. And I actually felt that lump-in-my-throat “oh crap” sensation, when I got to the ‘punchline’. It seemed like Jules just wanted to do a fine job. And the reader KNOWS it’s not gonna end well for him.
Thanks
Oops. For some people, you have to be super clear. LOL! Nice story, Ben
Good one! Very easy to visualize.